


Retired Liar

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Deceit retires from being 'Deceit', Salty Deceit, Sympathetic Deceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 00:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Deceit is a self-proclaimed retiree, unfortunately for him before he can fully kick off his newly retired status someone has a little bit of a problem with that. Not that he cares about anything anymore, let alone his past ‘job’.





	Retired Liar

The plastic bag crinkled as Deceit shoved his hand into it, shoveling out an entire handful of chips straight into his mouth. Crumbles cascaded down his chest like an avalanche of grease and potato flakes, but honestly, he could have cared less as his mismatched eyes remained fixed solidly to the tv that Roman usually stood in front of and that was now playing a horror crime drama. The very fake screams of terror coming from the tv did nothing to change the look on the dishonest side’s face, nor did the taste of bland and currently stale potato chips on his tongue. His eyes felt heavy as he stared at the tv screen, the room somewhat dark around him as with his face only being lit up by the lighting from the tv. 

It was just the crinkling of the bag and the sound of the tv that made any noise, but somehow it was enough to make Thomas jump at the suddenness of it. His head snapping back to look at the snake faced side that had just suddenly shown up and asserted himself there. Honestly… Thomas wasn’t quite sure what to say at that moment, as Deceit laid there not bothering a single soul but also… looking almost depressed as he did. 

Truth be told… it worried Thomas a little, to see the side that was normally doing so much.. doing so little. 

“What are you doing here!” Virgil hissed, popping up as soon as Thomas’ heart started to thud heavily in his chest, the anxious side had his arms crossed over his chest as he coldly regarded Deceit, especially seeing just what he was wearing too. Deceit had always been one to dress properly, even his bedtime attire was always a little too fancy for Virgil to stand. But now… seeing the faded t-shirt that was a few sizes too big for Deceit, and the faded plaid pajama pants that were just a little bit too long and hung over the tips of the dishonest side’s toes, coupled with the absolute mess that was Deceit’s hair… he couldn’t help but to get the feeling he was looking at an exact replica of Thomas when he had ducked out a few months ago. “What are you doing Deceit?” He cautiously asked the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, all while not entirely sure if this was some trick to make all of them lower their guard. 

Deceit shoveled another handful of chips into his mouth, and Virgil couldn’t help but to wrinkle his nose at the sight all while Thomas smiled sympathetically at it. It was a sight that was all too familiar to him, given that he had done it many of times after coming in from high school.

For a moment there was nothing but crinkling and loud obnoxious munching of the chips, “Most certainly not my job,” Deceit finally answered as soon the bag of chips was completely empty with not even a single crumb that remained inside, however instead of tossing it away the dishonest side crumpled it up and it merely vanished from sight just a few seconds before another one took its place. Deceit took all the time in the world to tear open this new bag, or rather struggling to open it as it just wouldn’t tear in the correct place for him to open it. “I’ve decided to…” His fingers fumbled with the seam of the chip bag again, “To…” He tried yet again, purposefully stopping his words right on the edge, as soon as he spotted Virgil’s clenching and unclenching fists, as if the anxious side was seriously struggling to not punch him right then and there. 

He was infuriating the anxious side. 

Good. 

“I,” He stopped again, this time trying to tear the bag open with his teeth in a move that just wasn’t cutting it for him. “Will,” He tugged again with his teeth, the plastic just not opening up for him. 

“Give it!” Virgil practically snarled at him ripping the bag of chips away with a little more roughness than he probably should have, before tearing open the bag practically shoving it at Deceit’s chest as the dishonest side blinked far too innocently back at him. “Now what are you doing here? You of all people should know that you don’t belong in the real world with Thomas.” His words carried a layer of venom with them, venom so strong that even he internally winced at the sheer meanness of them. He had never been this mean before, and he had never been this rude to Deceit in the past. They had once been friends, they had been buddies to one another. 

And yet… here he was, staring heartlessly back at Deceit as if they hadn’t lived together for more than twenty years of Thomas’ life. 

For a just a split second hurt lanced right through Deceit’s heart like a javelin from a professional javelin thrower, at the sheer sharpness of Virgil’s cutting words. Virgil hadn’t said it, but Deceit had heard the unspoken things that he had wanted say had Thomas not been in the room: _“What are you doing here? You don’t belong with Thomas, you don’t belong anywhere. Why do I even have to look at you anymore? I thought that if I left I wouldn’t have to see your stupid face. I hate you!” _For a moment his heart ached unlike anything before, and any other day he would have gone to his room and curled up with the abandoned black jacket that Virgil had behind. He allowed himself to feel that hurt but it was only for just a moment.

As he forced that very feeling and sensation out of him the very second he popped a chip in his mouth, loudly crunching on it. Better to eat his feelings away than to feel anything at all, that was a perfect motto for what he was doing right now. Because if he couldn’t fill the void inside of him with companionship and the company of those he had once held most dear… then he could always fill it full of pizza, chips, and sweet sweet ice cream. 

He couldn’t stand the two conflicting expressions on Thomas’ and Virgil’s face. One of distaste and hate, and the other of… pitying understanding. He hated it, he wanted no pity.. and he would have given anything and everything for Virgil to never hate him again. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t have anything left to give. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Deceit set the bag aside as he kicked his feet up on top of the coffee table in front of him, forcing Virgil to move if he didn’t want to even touch Deceit. “Thomas says that he wants to be a completely honest person right?” He gave a tiny little wave to the host in question, who was still looking at the both of them with varying levels of concern written all over his face. It was almost cute, that is if Deceit even felt remotely cute right now. “So I’ve retired, there’s no reason for me to be in Thomas’ head if he doesn’t want to lie, let alone be in my room. So I’m going to stay out here, where you all can live your perfectly happy lives. No lying.” The beaming smile that lit up Deceit’s face was entirely fake, in fact, his lips hurt from the mere act of pulling them so wide when all he really wanted to do was curl up with a massive blanket, fall asleep, and not wake up for several years. 

His heart hurt with the words of truth that spilled from his lips, Thomas had a use for all of them. Even Remus despite how vulgar and sexual he was with everything that he touched. Patton had a place, Logan had a place, Roman had a place, and even Virgil as scary as he had once been… had a place where he would be accepted by Thomas. Deceit… Deception… Self Preservation… did not have a place in that mold. Patton hated him, Virgil hated him, Logan tolerated him, and Roman only entertained the notion of his existence. It had never been so simple than it had been now, they could all be one big happy family. 

Without him that was. 

“You can’t do that,” Virgil’s horrifyingly shaken voice snapped him out of his own thoughts. “You can’t!” 

Blinking innocently back up at Virgil, Deceit merely cocked his head to the side like a curious puppy. “Oh?” He hummed the word out as he stretched lazily out on the couch his joints cracking as he did. Who knew that being retired was already so good for him. “And why not? That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? A life without me. Me to never exist around you. For me to simply never show up and ruin everything that you have with the new family that you worked so hard for. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Each word came out harsher and harsher without him ever really meaning to, he didn’t even have to sit up to see the emotions unfolding over Virgil’s face, and he didn’t have to sit up to not give a damn about those very same feelings either. 

In front of him, Virgil was trembling like a newborn lamb caught out in a snowstorm.

They both knew what this meant. 

For a moment, Deceit tore his eyes from the tv that he was watching. “Hey Thomas,” The dishonest side grinned sharply as he glanced back over to Virgil, in what felt like the ultimate dick move towards the person he had once held so much love towards. Towards the person who had left the moment that it became apparent that he could be accepted if he left Deceit and Remus behind. The person who had abandoned him, after they swore to stick together. He didn’t feel an ounce of guilt, he didn’t. “How are you feeling right now?” 

Thomas’ mouth opened, before he abruptly snapped it shut with a resounding click. A combination of fear and just plain sadness all over his face as he tugged at the end of his shirt as he attempted to put his words into a coherent sentence now that Deceit had actually brought up how he legitimately felt.

“I…” Their host swallowed thickly, heat burning his eyes as he hastily blinked. Deceit, Virgil, and his home blurring in front of him. “I hate myself, I hate myself for feeling things that I shouldn’t, for thinking things, and for not liking my friends as much as I should especially given how long I’ve been their friend. Sometimes I want to sleep and never wake up, and sometimes I just want to take a shower and never get out. It varies from day to day, but overall… I feel like a garbage person.” Within a second Thomas’ hand slapped over his mouth as a look of sheer terror colored his face, it was a look that told Deceit… Thomas was just figuring out that not only would he not be able to lie… but so long as Deceit remained ‘retired’ he wouldn’t be lying about anything any time soon. 

Deceit felt nothing but pure exhaustion clawing at his very bones, as he mockingly smiled back up at Virgil. Not being used was already starting to affect him out in the real world, had he stayed in Thomas’ head.. or just in his room, he would have been fine. But here… in the real world where Thomas could see him, touch him, but not.. feel him. It was a serious drain to his energy, he could already feel the struggle of keeping his eyelids open coupled with the strong urge to just yawn and curl up for a nap. 

“So you see,” He beat the current of exhaustion down, as he leaned his head back against the couch cushion looking completely at ease as he closed his eyes. “You’ve finally gotten what you want Virgil, right?” 

He didn’t have to look to see that Virgil was shaking his head, and that Virgil’s trembling hadn’t only not stopped… but had gotten so much worse from where it had been a few minutes ago. A trembling that was only matched by Thomas, as their host unsteadily sat down, his head resting in his hands as the feelings he had been keeping from himself washed over him like a tidal wave. 

Destroying anything and everything in their path. 

“No,” The anxious side choked out looming over the dishonest side as he did. “This isn’t what I wanted! This isn’t what I wanted at all.” He snarled, seizing the front of Deceit’s shirt shaking him roughly as he did. “You know very well that this isn’t what I wanted, so go back! Go back right now, and.. and I won’t tell the others about this!” His white-knuckled grip on Deceit’s shirt only tightened as he stared back into Deceit’s unyielding and uncaring gaze. He didn’t want to admit it, but… just the sheer emotionlessness in the other side’s eyes scared him, Deceit had only been someone who felt things fiercely, someone who wouldn’t give up no matter what… He had tried for years before Virgil had left, to try and get him as well as the others to be accepted. He had never given up on trying for all of them. 

And yet here he was… giving up on everything. 

“You thought it would be different didn’t you?” Deceit’s cold hand pried Virgil’s away from his shirt, “You thought that you could just stay angry at me for something that was your choice… that you could just unload all of your anger on me and I would just do what? Take it?” Deceit’s voice was a cool calm kind of angry as he fiercely stared back, “You thought that I’d always be around, but never in your way of getting what you want?” He hissed, that cold anger soon evolving, the truth spilling free no matter how much Virgil didn’t want to hear it. “So tell me, Virgil… why would I stick around for someone who has done nothing but lie about me… and hurt me? Why would I continue to care for you? You got what you wanted, you just didn’t like the price that it came with.” Roughly poking Virgil’s chest he forced the other side out of his face. “So deal with it.” 

With that being said, Deceit seized the bag of potato chips and the remote that was laying on the cushion next to him. It didn’t take much effort at all for him to return his gaze back to the show that he had once been watching, while ignoring the shaking side in front of him. 

“You all wanted a life without lies, right? Well, Halle- fucking -lujah to all of you.”


End file.
